We, the people of our abode, have long back signed a referendum accepting democracy in the kitchen (just in the kitchen). This means, we have a rotation scheme based on our work schedules to fairly share the honours of kitchen-chores; cooking and dishwashing. Cooking an institution by itself is definitely beyond the scope of a blog. Well, dishwashing, being unsung is worth an attempt. Now, as a regular dishwasher, I can say with reasonable conviction that I have, not only mastered the art of dishwashing but also grasped the meaning it has to offer and beyond…….
Yes, dishwashing definitely is an art. It may come in quite handy if you happen to invite some induhviduals(Dilbert term) for a party. Here are few tips from an accomplished dishwasher-
- Always remember, preparation is the key. Never ever think of dishwashing without a kitchen-apron and a pair of polythene gloves. You never know which dunce may choose to save a portion of red wine and you do not want to explain the stain on your favourite T-shirt to all the inquisitive souls.
- A Decent scrub and a strong liquid detergent is a must. If not for the sparkle at least to hear the squeak.
- Never miss an opportunity to dishwash in parts-for as long as human consciousness is concerned, the sum is always greater than the parts.
- Never dishwash in front of others-for A. It is un-british! B If the, observer is astutely virtuous; it exposes your character ruthlessly. Correction .The core of the character.
- Always play soothing background music-preferably instrumental or classical, Radio is too much of a distract, though classic fm is an exception. I am quite used to instrumental movie soundtracks. And strictly no metal.
- Start with the hard ones, strictly by Newton’s Second law…the momentum is bound to wear out; the old greasy cooking dishes first and always in hot water.
- Chinaware, plates, knives, spoons, forks last. In cold water and in that order. Smooth and easy, adds less frustration into your already rosy life.
- Watch out while on the exquisite wine glasses, especially if you have a single set –surely you will be surprised to learn about their price and you have to replace the whole set!
- Remember the golden rule-The plates from peripheries and dishes from the heart.
- While about it, never think. Anything.You will certainly run short of expletives and to no end. Instead think poetry, like this haiku (pardoning one unintended rhyme) I came up on my last session.
Ah! What a limitless fun!
To wet a china, one by one,
The bliss of perfect homerun.
Now to complete the title, the Zen part of it. Nothing profounder than a shallow Zen story.
So, this great king went to the enlightened Zen monk and asked ‘I have everything in my life yet I feel so incomplete’. An all knowing Zen smile lurked on the monk’s face and came the Zen counter question ‘Tell me, have you ever dishwashed?’. ‘Err, no’…and thus the great king realised his folly and attained great salvation after dishwashing the rest of his life.
Now that definitely, is a Dishwashing story but it will never let you go uneducated.
When you dishwash, you wash your precious sins and that of the people you hate, people whom you minutes before, while dining, referred to as tiresome old fools in the sanctity of your mind with a smile on your face. Doesn’t that kill your ego? What better path to salvation, than dishwashing?
Meow , meow …..Ah don’t bother; those are the cats are in my little bag. In these times,you can never be sure - which business might turn into a money spinning entrepreneurship. Can you? So I am just a lil hesitant to let all the cats out of the bag. That should be enough,got to go dishwash now!
From now on folks, never tell nobody taught you dishwashing….go dishwash like your mommas should be proud!